A Dog Person: A Road Rovers Story
by LordofTotoro
Summary: An alternate origin story of the rovers' arch-enemies, General Parvo and the Groomer.


"A DOG PERSON: A ROAD ROVERS STORY" by Jonathan Carlander

Based on characters created by  
Tom Ruegger and Jeff Gordon

FADE IN:

EXT. LOS ANGELES POLICE STATION - DAY

A white car parks in front of the station. Its driver steps out, his trench coat billowing in the wind. DOCTOR OTTOVOUS approaches the entrance.

INT. LOS ANGELES POLICE STATION - FRONT DESK - DAY

Ottovous calmly approaches an overweight OFFICER enjoying a pink-frosted doughnut behind the front desk, not paying any mind to the echoing screams and shouts of various crooks.

The officer licks his sausage link fingers. Ottovous smiles at him. Officer sees him, a tad embarrassed now.

OTTOVOUS: I'm here to see Phillip Parver and Marylin Stane.

INT. HOLDING CELL - DAY

Ottovous approaches the bars of a small cell. Nods to a thirty-something year-old man and woman staring at him on their bunks. PHILLIP PARVER and MARILYN STANE look at each other, confused, then glare back at Ottovous.

PARVER: What do you want?

OTTOVOUS: You're about to find out. But first, let's get out of this stink-hole.

A GUARD unlocks the cell door.

EXT. LOS ANGELES POLICE STATION - DAY

Ottovous approaches his vehicle. Parver and Stane follow, then stop as Ottovous opens the backseat door.

OTTOVOUS: It's not much, but it gets me around. Let's grab a bite, I haven't eaten all day.

STANE: Thanks for the bail, but we don't take rides from strangers.

PARVER: So leave us alone, hot-shot.

The two turn — a pair of laser-guns are aimed at them, protruding from the rear of the car.

The two turn the other way — another pair is aimed for them, protruding from the front. They glare at Ottovous, who smiles brightly.

PARVER: You'd seriously kill us in front of the cops? You stupid or something?

OTTOVOUS: Why should the law care if you two are killed by me? From their perspective, I'd be doing them a huge favor. Let's face it, kiddos. You're both nothing but dogs in the eyes of society. Wouldn't you like to be something more? Something great?

STANE: What is he talking about, Phil?

PARVER: I dunno, babe. But I'm kind of hungry, too.

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

Ottovous enjoys a steak in the corner of a lively restaurant. Parver and Stane sit across, barely touching their own lunches. Ottovous burps, wiping his mouth.

OTTOVOUS: Now, let's get down to business, shall we?

PARVER: So, you're a scientist?

OTTOVOUS: Maybe not as well-known as my rival is, but yes, I do work in the scientific field.

STANE: You've got a rival? Does he bail out total strangers, too?

OTTOVOUS: He's too engaged with his work to make time for other people. He also has a dog.

PARVER: Stick to the point, Doc. You bailed us out for a reason. So what is it?

OTTOVOUS: I'm surprised you haven't figured it out already. I want you two to steal for me.

The two lovers look at each other.

STANE: We don't offer our services out to others, Doc.

PARVER: Do your own dirty work. Now can me and Marilyn get the —

OTTOVOUS: You two would turn down a million dollars? I mean, seriously?

PARVER: What are you saying, Doc?

OTTOVOUS: Do what I tell you, Parver, and you and your lady friend will be paid very, very well. You wouldn't have to rob another bank or liquor store or diner as long as you live.

STANE: And why would you pay us?

Wind blows outside the window. Ottovous grins.

OTTOVOUS: Because the winds of change are here.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Parver sits upon a creaky bed, looking at his handgun. Stane takes a seat beside him.

STANE: What are you thinking about, honey?

PARVER: I've never robbed for anybody else before. But then again...a million dollars. Damn.

STANE: What if he's lying? What if he plans to kill us, like he could've done at the station earlier?

PARVER: Just remember what I told you, baby. Get to them before they can get to you.

The two smile at each other.

INT. OTTOVOUS' OFFICE - DAY

Ottovous rises from his desk, greeting Parver and Stane.

OTTOVOUS: Welcome to my laboratory, my friends. It'll be a better improvement once I have what I need.

STANE: Meaning what we steal for you, right?

OTTOVOUS: Pretty and intelligent. You've done well for yourself, Parver.

PARVER: Thanks. So, your rival's lab...it's all the way out in New Mexico?

OTTOVOUS: Don't worry. I've got a ride for you two, along with three other friends who have the same talents as you do.

PARVER: Why didn't you ask them to get these blueprints for you?

DONOVAN (O.S.): Because Doctor Ottovous likes your skills.

The two turn. DONOVAN BELL stands there, grinning, a gold tooth shining in the sunlight.

OTTOVOUS: Friends, this is Donovan Bell, one of the best in the trade.

DONOVAN: Well, the jeep's right out front. Are you two ready?

Parver thinks. Nods to Stane.

PARVER: Let's go to work, baby.

STANE: You've got it, honey.

The two embrace, laughing. Ottovous smiles.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. SHEPHERD RESEARCH LAB - DAY

A fat sun sets on the horizon of the New Mexican desert, a towering laboratory before it.

A grey jeep pulls up front. Inside, Parver sits beside Stane next to Bell. Up front, BEAVIS and BOOT-HEAD stare at the building.

BOOT-HEAD: Boys and girls, Professor Shepherd's laboratory.

BEAVIS: Dang, that's bigger than the Doc's lab.

DONOVAN: Park the car behind the building. Ottovous says there's a backdoor that'll take you straight to Shepherd's office. That's where the blueprints should be.

The jeep moves to the other side of the lab, passing by a sign that reads "SHEPHERD RESEARCH LABORATORY".

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

The backdoor creaks open. The five thieves hurry inside a long hallway, silver handguns at the ready. Bell nods to a nearby door.

DONOVAN: That's it.

Parver and Stane hurry for the door. They nod at each other. Parver kicks the door down.

INT. SHEPHERD'S OFFICE - DAY

No one is inside the neat room. The five thieves enter, searching.

BEAVIS: Nice place.

BOOT-HEAD: There should be something here, right?

STANE: Where's the damn blueprints, Phil?

PARVER: Ask the Professor, if he's even around here.  
A dog's HOWLING echoes throughout the air. Parver looks into the hallway.

PARVER: It came down there. Let's go, Marilyn.

The two hurry down the hallway. Bell smiles at the other two.

INT. SHEPHERD'S LABORATORY - DAY

Parver and Stane quietly open the door to a massive lab. They hurry behind a large computer screen. Peek around the edge. Stane gasps.

STANE: What the hell is that thing?

PROFESSOR SHEPHERD stands before a smoking machine. A large CANOSAPIEN (half- man, half-dog) steps out of the fog, howling before a smiling Shepherd.

SHEPHERD: It works. Good boy, Scout! You're the world's first Canosapien!

Shepherd embraces the dog, who licks his master's hair.

PARVER: It looks like some kind of dog. But it's not really a dog.

STANE: I hope it doesn't bite.

Parver glances down at the keyboard of the computer. Grins.

The Blueprints lie on the keyboard. Parver nods to Stane. Stane sees the blueprints.

STANE: Would you do the honor, Phil?

PARVER: You're far too kind, Marilyn.

Parver reaches for the blueprints.

The Canosapien charges for Stane, who screams.

SHEPHERD: Scout, what's the matter?!

Parver looks up. Aims his handgun for Scout.

SHEPHERD: Scout, stop!

Scout freezes. Races away, as does Shepherd.

STANE: Get it!

Parver fires.

A red laser beam blasts out of the handgun. Hits the opposite wall, which explodes into debris.

The whole room shakes violently, with pieces of equipment exploding and the ceiling falling in pieces.

PARVER: Run! Run!

Stane races for the hallway.

Parver reaches for the blueprints.

Shepherd snatches it away, staring at Parver.

Shepherd races away. Parver aims his handgun for his head.

Suddenly, the entire computer screen explodes, along with its keyboard and chair, creating a massive fireball. Parver screams.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Stane hears the screaming. Turns.

STANE: Phil!

Stane races towards the lab. Behind her, Bell and his two goons race out of the building through the backdoor.

EXT. SHEPHERD RESEARCH LAB - DAY

The jeep races down the road, vanishing into the setting sun.

The building stops shaking.

A door is kicked down. Stane drags Parver, wrapped in a blood-stained lab coat, towards a small car.

INT. SHEPHERD'S LABORATORY - DAY

Shepherd enters the chaotic lab, everything smoking and burnt except for the strange machine Scout emerged from.

SHEPHERD: Thank God the Transdogmafier survived.

Shepherd hears a car screeching outside. Races away.

EXT. SHEPHERD RESEARCH LAB - DAY  
Shepherd bursts outside and sees the car speeding like hell down the road.

SHEPHERD: I just paid that car off.

Shepherd sighs and walks back towards the building.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. OTTOVOUS' OFFICE - NIGHT  
Ottovous sits at his desk, on his cell phone with Donovan.

OTTOVOUS: Excellent job, Donny! I knew you still had the magic touch! And what about the two kids? Fantastic. Now with Shepherd's blueprints I can make his latest creation a reality, with my name on it all! Say, do you know what the blueprints are for?

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Donovan Bell sits upon a bunk in a motel room, nervous.

DONOVAN: I couldn't really tell, Doctor Ottovous. But it's gold, that's for sure. Pure gold. Alright, see you tomorrow. Bye.

Bell hangs up. Slams his fist onto the bed.

DONOVAN: Damn! This means me and the losers are going to have to —

BEAVIS (O.S.): Boss!

Beavis and Boot-head enter, grinning, holding up some blueprints.

BOOT-HEAD: We just made these blueprints ourselves! So we don't need to go back to the lab again!

BEAVIS: Ottovous won't be able to tell the difference!

Bell snatches away the blueprints. Reads them over. Starts laughing.

DONOVAN: Maybe you two ain't such losers, after all!

EXT. NEW MEXICAN DESERT - NIGHT

Stane sobs, sitting on top of the car.

STANE: I'm sorry, honey! I tried to save you! But I...I just couldn't —

PARVER (O.S.): It's amazing.

Stane swings around. Sees Parver standing behind her, eyeing the horizon in his bloody lab coat.

STANE: You're alive! You're going to be okay!

PARVER: Baby, are you listening to me? What Shepherd has done. That creature he made. It's...it's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And you know what I'm thinking right now?

STANE: What, Phil?  
Parver turns, grinning. Stane gasps at his bloody, burnt appearance.

PARVER: The winds of change are here.

INT. MOTEL - NIGHT

Bell and his two friends enjoy a bottle of wine together.

DONOVAN: Here's a little toast, boys. To us. To the Doctor. And to the untimely deaths of two small-time crooks. Now let's get wasted!

The trio chuckle, drinking from their glasses.

The motel room door is kicked down. Parver and Stane are there, smirking. The trio rise, alarmed.

BEAVIS: It's the kids!

BOOT-HEAD: I thought they were dead.

STANE: Sorry boys, but we're not going down that easy.

PARVER: Now let us show you the real meaning of pain!

Parver grabs Beavis and Boot-head by their throats with his burnt hands. Jerks them outside. Donovan reaches for his handgun. Stane leaps atop him, hovering a razor at his throat as the

handgun drops to the floor.

STANE: Scream and you get a free haircut.

INT. OTTOVOUS' LAB - DAY

Ottovous stares at the city from his window, angrily tapping his desk.

OTTOVOUS: Three weeks and not a word from Donovan or the others. If I ever see their mugs again I'll gladly —

There's a soft knocking on the door. Ottovous turns. Reaches for a laser gun in his drawer. Hides it behind his back.

OTTOVOUS: Come in.

Bell enters. Smiles nervously at Ottovous.

DONOVAN: Hey, Doctor. Long time no see?

OTTOVOUS: Donovan! Where the hell have you been? Where are my blueprints?

DONOVAN: I've got them right here. See?

Bell holds up blueprints.

OTTOVOUS: This had better been worth it.

Ottovous snatches away the blueprints. Unfolds them.

OTTOVOUS: What?!

The blueprints are the phony blueprints from the motel. Covered in dry blood.

Ottovous drops the blueprints. Backs away. Bumps into Parver. Swings around.

Parver stands before him, now wearing cybernetic body parts and a steel helmet.

OTTOVOUS: What the hell did you do with my men?

PARVER: I did what they were going to do to me as soon as I handed over the blueprints. You shouldn't lie to people willing to help you, Ottovous.

Ottovous raises his gun. Parver crushes it with his steel hand. Ottovous backs away.

OTTOVOUS: Your body? What happened to you?

PARVER: Me and Marilyn decided to upgrade ourselves a little bit. After all, it's like you told us...

Parver bumps into Stane, wearing a red jumpsuit and steel helmet. He turns to see her smirking face.

Parver rests both hands on Ottovous' shaking shoulders.

PARVER: The winds of change are here.

Bell looks away as Parver snaps Ottovous' neck. Ottovous slumps to the floor, lying beside the blueprints.

Parver and Stane smile at each other. Look to Bell.

PARVER: Now, as far as you go, Donovan...

Parver approaches Bell. Gently pats his shoulder.

PARVER: You're working for us, now.

DONOVAN: Absolutely. Anything you want I'll do it.

PARVER: Then get packed. We're returning to New Mexico to locate Professor Shepherd's home address. We've got a dog to kidnap.

DONOVAN: Yes sir, Mister Parver.

PARVER: No! Not Parver anymore.

STANE: And not Stane anymore, either.

DONOVAN: Then who are you guys?

INT. SHEPHERD'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Shepherd is on his cell phone, speaking with Parver (now PARVO)

PARVO (O.S.): General Parvo and my assistant, Groomer, will be more than happy to return Scout to you. But first, we need the blueprints to your machine.

SHEPHERD: I'll give them to you tonight. Just don't hurt my dog.

PARVO (O.S.): Meet us at the lab in half an hour. Don't try anything stupid.

EXT. NEW MEXICAN DESERT - DAY

Parvo lowers his phone. Smiles at Stane, now GROOMER.

PARVO: I can see it now, Groomer. The world will be ours before we know it.

GROOMER: And we'll have created a new master race. I love it so much, General!

PARVO: Yes, Groomer. Life is good.

A jeep pulls up to the two. Bell at the wheel. Nods to Parvo.

DONOVAN: The mutt's back at the ship. Where to next, General?

PARVO: Shepherd Research Laboratory, and step on it!

Parvo and Groomer hop into the jeep. Smile at each other. Parvo nods to Bell.

Bell turns the car and the vehicle races down the road, a gust of wind kicking up dirt and debris, which fills the frame as we

FADE TO BLACK. THE END.


End file.
